October 2009
5 posts
Something Like a Phenomenon
My favorite phenomenon is when a girl changes her hair color drastically and her attractiveness increases by a factor that is grossly disproportionate to the norm. I’m talking like going from being just “cute” to “smokin’ hot.” This happened yesterday, and fortunately I was able to experience it first hand.
Girls, if you aren’t getting dates, change...
Sad Panda
There’s a sign in the hallway that says “What is Sexual Harassment?” in large letters. I am going to print out an arrow and find someone to stand next to it with me for a few hours with their hand positioned awkwardly on my inner thigh.
In My Ideal World..
I wish people walked around with their names displayed over their head in large letters like in MMOs. It would be a lot easier for me to Facebook stalk cute girls I saw around campus.
Actual Conversation*
On the topic of diet, exercise, and weightlifting:
Scott: “I was pretty into lifting weights last year for about 2 or 3 weeks then I just stopped.”
Me: “Psht, why were YOU lifting weights?! You plan on breaking up with your girlfriend or something?!”
Scott: “No I just..”
Me: “Only time you should be lifting weights is when you are looking for a...
There's An App For That
So today I was walking in the hallway after class and heard two students engaged in conversation. One told the other that he planned on “Smoking a blunt and then getting some half-priced apps.”
I was instantly excited! I figured that I had missed some sort of special that Apple was running, so I grabbed my iPhone and rushed to check it out.
As I was looking for my App Store icon, it...
September 2009
2 posts
She Works Hard For The Money
So I was flipping channels the other night and I came across a stripper as a featured participant on the show “What Not To Wear”.
Spoiler alert: Clothes.
Why are you here?
So this is my “first” blog. I don’t know why you’re reading this, but since you took the time to come here, I want to thank you and also let you know you’re looking extra stunning today, did you do your hair differently? I like it… Enough with the the small talk, let’s begin.
So for the first entry let’s get one thing straight: I am aware of the...